“Alice” is not one of my favorite episodes. I remember being particularly disappointed that we actually get inside Tom’s head…and find out he really loves flying. Wow, what a revelation.
Though looking back on it…you could see the memory described in this episode as a seminal moment in Tom’s relationship with his father. Tom fell in love with flying when he was eight years old, perhaps in part because his first flight was such a good experience with his dad. One where he did well and made his father proud.
And his father may have seen Tom’s love of flying, and assumed that meant he wanted to join Starfleet. Of course, Starfleet isn’t the only career possible for a pilot, but it’s probably the first most people think of. Just like today, people who want to be pilots often think first of the Air Force, though it’s not the only possibility. And Owen wanted his son to follow in his footsteps, and maybe saw only what he wanted to see.
We see Tom has that tendency himself. He assumes that what he wants is what everyone wants. He doesn’t ask Harry or B’Elanna what they want to do, he just assumes they’ll want to do whatever he wants to do. (Which is usually true of Harry, and usually not true of B’Elanna.)
I could see Owen being the same way. Maybe he assumed Tom wanted to join Starfleet —
and Tom probably did, at first —
and didn’t recognize it when Tom changed his mind, as children often do. He assumed the pressure he put on his son was helping him achieve his dream, the way parents sometimes have to do. Not realizing Tom no longer had the same aspirations he had when he eight.